This is so confusing!
How can someone, in the same sentence, be apologizing, asking me to come back and be blaming me for everything that went wrong? Does this make any sense?
I recieved a phone call at 10:30 last night from my husband. His new ploy is to use the kids well being to make me come back. The conversation started off like this:
"We need to make this work for the kids, Summer. They are ALL that matter in this. Whatever we have going on isn't important, the only important thing is making this work for their sake."
"Um....what"
"I just had a 2 1/2 hr talk with Michelle (a friend of mine) and I have come to the realization that we need to focus on making this work for the kids. Their happiness should be the only thing we strive for"
"Um.....what?"
"We will make this work, Summer. We shouldn't do this to our babies. How will this affect them?"
"Well I don't remember you thinking about the kids when you kicked us out, screaming at the top of your voice for us to leave you the fuck alone you worthless fucking cunt and etc..."
"I made a mistake, but you should have been more understanding of what I'm going through right now."
"What you're going through? I just had a baby 4 months ago, I'm working an almost full-time job trying to balance taking care of the majority of their needs because you typically are too busy for them, keeping a household running and working a demanding, stressful job. " I work in real estate."What exactly are you going through that is soooo difficult? That would warrant the kind of behavior you demonstrated? "
"I don't want to fight anymore, Summer."
"Me neither, I'm sick of this, but that doesn't mean I'm running back to you full of forgiveness. I'm tired of being the emotional battering ram. I don't really understand where you're coming from and I don't really agree with/believe your new found concern with our children. "
"Well you just think about what I said. I love you, goodnight."
WHAT????????? ARGH!!!!!!!
I recieved a phone call at 10:30 last night from my husband. His new ploy is to use the kids well being to make me come back. The conversation started off like this:
"We need to make this work for the kids, Summer. They are ALL that matter in this. Whatever we have going on isn't important, the only important thing is making this work for their sake."
"Um....what"
"I just had a 2 1/2 hr talk with Michelle (a friend of mine) and I have come to the realization that we need to focus on making this work for the kids. Their happiness should be the only thing we strive for"
"Um.....what?"
"We will make this work, Summer. We shouldn't do this to our babies. How will this affect them?"
"Well I don't remember you thinking about the kids when you kicked us out, screaming at the top of your voice for us to leave you the fuck alone you worthless fucking cunt and etc..."
"I made a mistake, but you should have been more understanding of what I'm going through right now."
"What you're going through? I just had a baby 4 months ago, I'm working an almost full-time job trying to balance taking care of the majority of their needs because you typically are too busy for them, keeping a household running and working a demanding, stressful job. " I work in real estate."What exactly are you going through that is soooo difficult? That would warrant the kind of behavior you demonstrated? "
"I don't want to fight anymore, Summer."
"Me neither, I'm sick of this, but that doesn't mean I'm running back to you full of forgiveness. I'm tired of being the emotional battering ram. I don't really understand where you're coming from and I don't really agree with/believe your new found concern with our children. "
"Well you just think about what I said. I love you, goodnight."
WHAT????????? ARGH!!!!!!!
posted by Summer at 4:33 AM
1 Comments:
Summer, this all reminds me of a nasty separation and divorce I went through a few years ago. First, they kick you out screaming obstinacies the whole way; then they try to beg you back. Usually when you go back the vicious circle begins again.
The only difference is that you have babies. However, your relationship sounds as emotionally abusive as my last was. The woman you described in a previous post with hunched shoulders was me with my ex. I know you remember it.
I am going to give you the exact same advice you gave me all those years ago: It may not be today; it may not be tomorrow; but eventually you will HAVE HAD ENOUGH of his shit; and you WILL leave.
As someone living in freedom, peace, and joy on the other side of that nasty fucked up relationship, let me assure you: the sooner you get out the better.
I can't imagine how much harder it is when you look into the faces of your children. And I bet that it is harder still when you think about how hard it was for you and your sister. But staying with someone "just for the children" is signing on for a loveless life filled with resentment.
You are one hell of a strong woman. You have overcome greater obstacles than this. I know that you can provide your kids with enough love and stability to give them a good life, all on your own. The things you have gone through in your life have taught you how to avoid some of the heart ache you and Leah went through.
I know this sucks in the worst way, but I also know that you're going to come out swinging. You have some great resources to draw on, both in your own heart and in your family and friends. We are with you, Summer.
Post a Comment
<< Home