Not A Pretty Girl
What is Beauty?
Webster's Dictionary defines it as:
The quality that gives pleasure to the mind or senses and is associated with such properties as harmony of form or color, excellence of artistry, truthfulness, and originality.
The thesaurus says:
Definition: attractiveness
Synonyms: adorableness, allure, allurement, artistry, attraction, bloom, charm, class, comeliness, delicacy, elegance, exquisiteness, fairness, fascination, glamour, good looks, grace, handsomeness, loveliness, polish, pulchritude, refinement, shapeliness, style, symmetry, winsomeness
Ok....but what defines the things that give pleasure to the mind and senses? What is harmony of color? What makes an excellent artist? How do we measure what is beautiful and what isn't? Or for this post, who is beautiful and who isn't.
I could fall back on the old adage "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder", and while that is most certainly true, is it something that we as women live by when standing in front of the mirror, harshly criticizing out physical flaws? Moreover, why do we as women, knowing how harshly we judge ourselves, turn that judgement and criticism on other women?
I was brought to this topic by this post written by Her Bad Mother (I think I may have linked...fuckin hallelujah!). A great, if sticky, topic of discussion.
I will say some things here even at the risk of sounding hoity toity. Those that know me, know that I am not the kind of woman that plays off of looks nor do I think that I'm "all that" or whatever that means. I am a woman that looks for things in the depths of people. I like to think I look for beauty in all things, in all people regardless of physicality....
Now to truly start this post.
I have always been told how pretty I am. As a young girl and blossoming adolescent, I was told this so often and so much emphasis was put on being pretty. I never thought it and certainly never felt it. It's hard to put into words how I felt. I now realize that I was and am "pretty". Bleh...I spent much of my life void of female relationships and full of boys trying to get into my pants. I mean, come on, she's "hot" she must be a slut. I've been called a slut, whore, you name it, I've been called it. I've been accused of sleeping with boyfriends I've never even spoken to. Of sleeping with good friends just because I must be sleeping with them...I mean I do have a vagina! Why the hell wouldn't I be fucking everyone and everything that looks my way or vice versa?
I hear that being pretty or beautiful makes life easier. My question is, does it? Does it really? To qoute one of my favorite poets/musicians: Everyone harbors a secret hatred for the prettiest girl in the room. God help you if you were a phoenix and you dared to rise up from the edge. A thousand eyes would smoulder with jealousy, while you were just flying there - Ani Difranco
Very powerful. Is it easy to be hated for something you had no part in? Is it easy to be judged for just being? I am speaking only for myself in this. I know that a lot of beautiful women use it against other people and shame on them. Shame on them for thinking that genetics make you a better person than the next. Shame on them and fuck them.
Staring at my blinking cursor wondering where to go next.
My desire is that we as women and as human beings look at each other with x-ray glasses. Forget the outer shell. It means nothing in terms of what and who we are. That we stop judging each other based on bra sizes and nose sizes. That we start to think of others in a more spiritual (and I don't mean Godly) way. That we learn to connect through all of the minute bullshit that life has taught us to see. That we leave on our rose colored glasses and find beauty in all. That we learn to love because love feels good. Because every single person deserves to be loved. Because we are all beautiful no matter what we may appear to be on the outside.
I tell my daughter how smart she is. How strong she is. How special and wonderful and amazing she is. I turn harsh eyes on anyone that tells her she's pretty. She will grow with a sense of completeness I was never given the chance to have. This is one of my goals as a mother. She will grow up knowing that a pretty face will not get you far in life. It's what's behind it that matters. And it's what's in your heart.
Don't judge too harshly nor too quickly. You may be passing up someone extraodinary.
Webster's Dictionary defines it as:
The quality that gives pleasure to the mind or senses and is associated with such properties as harmony of form or color, excellence of artistry, truthfulness, and originality.
The thesaurus says:
Definition: attractiveness
Synonyms: adorableness, allure, allurement, artistry, attraction, bloom, charm, class, comeliness, delicacy, elegance, exquisiteness, fairness, fascination, glamour, good looks, grace, handsomeness, loveliness, polish, pulchritude, refinement, shapeliness, style, symmetry, winsomeness
Ok....but what defines the things that give pleasure to the mind and senses? What is harmony of color? What makes an excellent artist? How do we measure what is beautiful and what isn't? Or for this post, who is beautiful and who isn't.
I could fall back on the old adage "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder", and while that is most certainly true, is it something that we as women live by when standing in front of the mirror, harshly criticizing out physical flaws? Moreover, why do we as women, knowing how harshly we judge ourselves, turn that judgement and criticism on other women?
I was brought to this topic by this post written by Her Bad Mother (I think I may have linked...fuckin hallelujah!). A great, if sticky, topic of discussion.
I will say some things here even at the risk of sounding hoity toity. Those that know me, know that I am not the kind of woman that plays off of looks nor do I think that I'm "all that" or whatever that means. I am a woman that looks for things in the depths of people. I like to think I look for beauty in all things, in all people regardless of physicality....
Now to truly start this post.
I have always been told how pretty I am. As a young girl and blossoming adolescent, I was told this so often and so much emphasis was put on being pretty. I never thought it and certainly never felt it. It's hard to put into words how I felt. I now realize that I was and am "pretty". Bleh...I spent much of my life void of female relationships and full of boys trying to get into my pants. I mean, come on, she's "hot" she must be a slut. I've been called a slut, whore, you name it, I've been called it. I've been accused of sleeping with boyfriends I've never even spoken to. Of sleeping with good friends just because I must be sleeping with them...I mean I do have a vagina! Why the hell wouldn't I be fucking everyone and everything that looks my way or vice versa?
I hear that being pretty or beautiful makes life easier. My question is, does it? Does it really? To qoute one of my favorite poets/musicians: Everyone harbors a secret hatred for the prettiest girl in the room. God help you if you were a phoenix and you dared to rise up from the edge. A thousand eyes would smoulder with jealousy, while you were just flying there - Ani Difranco
Very powerful. Is it easy to be hated for something you had no part in? Is it easy to be judged for just being? I am speaking only for myself in this. I know that a lot of beautiful women use it against other people and shame on them. Shame on them for thinking that genetics make you a better person than the next. Shame on them and fuck them.
Staring at my blinking cursor wondering where to go next.
My desire is that we as women and as human beings look at each other with x-ray glasses. Forget the outer shell. It means nothing in terms of what and who we are. That we stop judging each other based on bra sizes and nose sizes. That we start to think of others in a more spiritual (and I don't mean Godly) way. That we learn to connect through all of the minute bullshit that life has taught us to see. That we leave on our rose colored glasses and find beauty in all. That we learn to love because love feels good. Because every single person deserves to be loved. Because we are all beautiful no matter what we may appear to be on the outside.
I tell my daughter how smart she is. How strong she is. How special and wonderful and amazing she is. I turn harsh eyes on anyone that tells her she's pretty. She will grow with a sense of completeness I was never given the chance to have. This is one of my goals as a mother. She will grow up knowing that a pretty face will not get you far in life. It's what's behind it that matters. And it's what's in your heart.
Don't judge too harshly nor too quickly. You may be passing up someone extraodinary.
posted by Summer at 7:07 AM
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